Friday, April 2, 2010

well, since you brought it up... let's talk about this word "choice", shall we?

i wasn't planning on having multiple posts concerning the issue of abortion, but seeing as that seems to be all certain feminist blogs want to talk about... why not?

in all of the reading i've done in a handful of popular feminist blogs in the past few months, there are a few points that really irk me tremendously... many of them having to do with abortion. first, i suppose i should define where i stand with this argument. as discussed in my last post, i believe that abortion is simply a symptom of a greater problem: our society doesn't properly care for it's women. this is a stance that was held by first wave feminists and i must say i agree with them. i don't think the answer to abortion is making it illegal OR fighting tooth and nail to keep it legal without addressing the actual problems. firstly, men and women alike have a right to know how their bodies work, how pregnancy happens, and how to prevent pregnancy. i am not one of those Christians who is so foolish to believe that someone who does not have the same moral convictions i do, is going to act and make the same life choices that i do. people are going to have sex. period. and if you don't want them to have abortions, teach them COMPLETE sex education. while i believe abstinence is the best choice and is the choice i have made for myself, i do not expect everyone to make that choice, even if it is the only choice presented to them. people who think that abstinence-only education leads to abstinence-only teens, are excessively naive. therefore, people need to know how to protect themselves from disease and unwanted pregnancies. in addition, if a woman were truly supported by society, motherhood would be a much easier choice. now, i'm not saying that motherhood is easy by any means, particularly single-motherhood... however, many women make the choice of having an abortion because having a child would mean dropping out of school because their school doesn't provide family housing or day care options (which is also a burden for non-single mothers). One in four abortions is performed on a university student. I wonder how many of those women would have made a different choice, had more support been offered to them. plus the high cost of pre-natal care, making life a difficult choice for poorer women. not to mention all of the stigma attached to being a single mother, or even a mother with partner who is not a spouse. many attached to the pro-life movement make it a bit of a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" scenario. either you're a murderer or you're a whore. talk about choices! those are great ones, huh?
i believe abortion is wrong because i believe life does being at conception and that all life is sacred. (and before any pro-choicers who may read this try to go all crazy on me and assume me a hypocrite--i am also anti-death penalty, anti-torture and anti-war). but i am not here to condemn anyone else. even Christ didn't come to do that (John 3:16-17). i can't make anyone else's choices for them. we are creatures of free will.
now, all that said and laid out on the table, here's my issue: on these blogs, i have read attacks on women who have chosen abstinence, attacks on women who chose to put a baby up for adoption and attacks on pretty much any woman who made a choice involving her sexuality or pregnancy that didn't involve having an abortion. there are MULTIPLE articles to be found criticizing the movie Juno. one claiming that adoption is a horrible choice and many women regret it (and no one regrets having an abortion?) and one that even flat out said of the movie, "why not just have an abortion and be done with it?" these blogs and articles all call themselves pro-choice while calling pro-lifers "anti-choice" constantly. it seems to me, ladies, that the majority of "anti-choicers" are only anti one choice. you seem to be anti a lot more choices. now i read this little gem of an article, criticizing Lilith Fair for including Crisis Pregnancy Centers in their "Choose Your Charity" campaign. there was much outrage to be had concerning this, and now all of the CPCs have been pulled from the list. just because there have been CPCs who have been guilty of preventing women from obtaining contraceptive and using scare tactics to keep them from having abortions doesn't mean that every CPC does these things. Believe it or not, some women in a crisis pregnancy situation WANT to keep their baby and CPCs provide them the support they need to do that. How is that anti-woman? please, tell me. And it's not like abortion providers are totally free from controversy or scandal. isn't generalizing an entire group because of a few exactly the kind of behavior feminism seeks to eradicate? my favorite part of the article is in one of the first comments, "I wasn't aware we were using the term "abortion mill" now, but thanks for comparing babies to puppies, pro-life America!" oh wait, now it's a baby? i thought it was a non-viable, non-living fetus. isn't puppy a step up? funny how you feel free to refer to it as a baby when it's convenient for you and your argument, but deny it's inherent life value the rest of the time.
i don't have a big issue with a woman being pro-choice. i have no problem agreeing to disagree, but i expect the same kind of respect and rationale in return. don't paint all pro-lifers as anti-woman clinic bombers who sit in their bunkers waiting for Christ to return. ok? thanks. and i would also appreciate it if pro-choice sites, blogs and articles would stop trying to shame women who have made a choice different from their own. don't call me a foolish prude because i have made the (educated) decision not to have sex. don't claim that a woman giving her child to a loving family is done only because a woman feels societal pressure or was somehow blocked from an abortion and that the woman will inevitably feel deep grief over her choice. with EVERY particular choice there is SOMEONE who regrets it. people regret having sex, people regret not having sex. people regret giving their child up for adoption, but people also deeply regret their abortions (i've MET them). disagree with me all you like, but no matter the issue i do not tolerate people only telling part of the facts, outright lying or trying to scare or pressure people into a certain belief. some pro-lifers are guilty of these things but so are some pro-choicers. there are two sides to every coin.

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